Have you ever heard someone talking about their dream coming true and thought to yourself, lucky them; that'll never happen to me. Have you ever wanted something so badly you'd go to the ends of the earth for it? Have you ever begged God to give you that something? Have you ever hated Him when his answer was no, not yet, or just silence?
Do you think you're the only one - that you're alone?
There's a blog I've followed for a couple of years. The writer has DOR also. Her first and second IVF attempts failed and her third was successful with only one embryo to transfer, only one chance. When I read her pregnancy announcement post I thought, well good for her. She's so lucky. But that will never be me.
When it became apparent IVF was our best option we jumped into it, and into our savings account, eyes closed, breath held. When it didn't work I left the career and the people I loved for a job I didn't love, 50 miles away, all for the sake of IVF coverage.
In my prayer journals of the past several years everyday contains the same prayer: please God, let this work. And then the same lamentations: Why? Where are You?
Two weeks ago our son was born. He was born healthy and without complication. My dream come true; my end of the earth; my answered prayer. If you're reading this there's a good chance you don't think it'll ever happen for you, even though you'd do anything. You don't think God is listening. You think you're alone. But I bet there is at least one other person praying for you. I bet there is a small voice inside that still believes. I bet that someday you'll have your own epilogue that is so awesome, so amazing and awe-inspiring that you won't have words to say to describe it, so instead you'll just marvel in it and you'll say, this is my dream come true; my end of the earth, my answered prayer.