Monday, January 10, 2011


So I guess tomorrow's the day. 1/11/11. That's gotta be a good sign, right? Our RE said this am everything looks good; we're scheduled for the "trigger" shot in the am, go to "work," and then I guess it's the waiting game for about 2 weeks after. This am I felt pretty optimistic - excited in fact. But now there's a bowling ball in my stomach. I'm scared. Like, really scared. And I can't really explain why. I'm not afraid of pain or shots or anything physical like that. I can handle that. I've been thru many car wrecks, a major surgery, self-injections most recently; I'm a bad ass.


On the inside I feel so fragile. I'm afraid of failure. I know that the chances of this working on the first cycle are so small. I've read the stat's. I know the stories. Failure happens. A lot. How am I going to handle it if/when we're added to the list? I know, I'm putting the cart before the horse right now. How can I expect this to work if I keep telling myself it's not going to work? I've heard the advise. Relax, have fun. It'll happen. Put it in God's hands and He will provide. Trust in the Lord.


These verbs are so anti synonymous with IF.

I've got a lot of praying to do...


  1. And thus the reason why infertility is so maddening - in mere hours you can go from giddy and hopeful to despair, for no reason.

    No matter what happens with this cycle, you'll get through it!

  2. I hope that 1-11-11 holds good luck for you!!!